Were we laughing
When you said to me,
“Let’s spill water out of this bowl
Onto the head of that young man in the street?”
The water missed him, slid down the pavement.
I felt dandelion curls against my cheeks as I ran away into the safe dusk of the living room.
You followed suit, and crouched behind the glass door separating us from reprieve.
For all you know, you could have saved my life.
I don’t remember.
I don’t know if that laugh we had was real,
Or a dream that flung me
Into the silent world of a peaceful park and winter-stained trees.
A Welsh village in the stillness of flooding –
Llanandras himself could not have meditated better.
Yet it is not you who runs next to me,
Sloshing through mud and fear
At the forest’s edge.
There is nobody listening.
I look you up,
I find you on my bracelet as a red gleam.
Your secrets rest in my letterbox –
I do not think to miss you –
I have you all the time, darling. All the time.